Wednesday, May 21, 2014

saying goodbye

Never in a million years could I have imagined this day, when I held my sister's hand and said goodbye.

A week ago my older sister died of cancer.  She had been shockingly diagnosed a year and a half ago, went on a new medication that seemed to be working, but then, suddenly, stopped being effective.  She went back to her beloved home, surrounded by friends, family, and the very caring Hospice staff just after Easter - only a few weeks ago.  Everything happened so quickly, so quickly.

She is part of my entire life, every nook and cranny, snapshots scattered across the bed, from my first baby pictures to her last week.  And after she died, we went into her garden, her beautiful Spring garden, bursting with beauty and life and color, to try to fathom a life without her phone calls and visits, her grace, and her love.   Blessings to her husband, her three sons and their families, and her two grandchildren.  Until we meet again.









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17 comments:

  1. La Table De NanaMay 21, 2014 at 10:54 AM

    I am so sad for you.
    What a beautiful beautiful girl.
    Your words touched me so much,my sympathies Katrina.
    I am looking at a blue sky..with puddles in my eyes,

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  2. katrinaMay 21, 2014 at 11:46 AM

    Thank you, dear Nana, - those puddles seem to come and go a lot these days/.....

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  3. kellypeaMay 21, 2014 at 3:32 PM

    This is so beautiful, Katrina, and it's made me sob for your incredible loss. What a lovely woman she must have been and how wonderful to have had such a special relationship. Hold tight to those nooks and crannies. xo

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  4. katrinaMay 21, 2014 at 5:14 PM

    Thank you, Kelly - I will , I will. We had a complicated childhood, that made me appreciate her being sometimes "my little mother", sometimes typical siblings. She has always been in my life, my constant. , and I felt life was so unjust with this disease - but I imagine every family has a story life this, feelings like this. In the end, you hang on to love.

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  5. katrinaMay 21, 2014 at 5:15 PM

    Oops - that should read "a story like this"

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  6. MumsieMay 21, 2014 at 5:42 PM

    I, too, lost my sister to cancer; my deepest sympathies for your loss, but it sounds like we were both blessed to have had wonderful sisters. You are so right to recognize that others have felt it was unfair to lose a loved one to cancer and very wise to "hang on to love"; it's what keeps me going. Blessings to you and your family.

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  7. Kalyn DennyMay 21, 2014 at 9:03 PM

    So sorry to hear about this incredible loss. I'm glad you have happy memories of her to get you through this time.

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  8. katrinaMay 22, 2014 at 2:36 AM

    Mumsie - thank you, your words meant a lot to me. I'm so sorry about your sister, I know you must miss her. Hugs and love

    Katrina

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  9. katrinaMay 22, 2014 at 2:37 AM

    Thank you, Kalyn.....

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  10. Lisa from IroquoisMay 22, 2014 at 6:45 AM

    My condolences on your loss. I cannot imagine a world without my sisters. Nobody knows us better at our deepest core. *hug*

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  11. KateMay 22, 2014 at 9:20 AM

    My deepest condolences. Your heart must be on a roller coaster of incredible loss and heaviness heightened by peaks of joyous memories. May God continue to give you grace and peace as you surround yourself with all the love and memories you hold so dear.

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  12. diary of a tomatoMay 22, 2014 at 6:45 PM

    Oh, Katrina, words cannot express how very sorry I am for your tremendous loss — sisters are an entirely different category of the heart. I've had my own brush with cancer this year and, as I emerge from the experience, am just coming to realize it's deep affect on my loved ones. Thank-you for the courage and heart to share this with us...

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  13. donna foodloverMay 22, 2014 at 8:07 PM

    Katrina, my heart is with you in your grief. Having happy memories with your sister is a blessing and I am happy that you have them and the photos as well. Hold tight to the love. It won't ever leave you.

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  14. BarbMay 23, 2014 at 5:55 AM

    Dear Katrina - I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved sister. May you find comfort in the love and support of your family and friends .

    Blessings to you and your family"

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  15. katrinaMay 24, 2014 at 3:59 AM

    Thank you all for your comforting messages, they are very appreciated....

    with love Katrina

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  16. AnonymousMay 30, 2014 at 1:45 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care. Alane

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  17. katrinaMay 30, 2014 at 2:32 PM

    Alane - thank you. Inch by inch, day by day is the new mantra.

    with love Katrina

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